![]() ![]() I chose to have these children at the time I chose to have them. When did I become such a crank? “Choice”-how I loved that word, how I celebrated it. So her mom makes excuses to Andrew’s mom about how her little one “didn’t sleep well” or might be “coming down with something” when all she seems to be coming down with, in my opinion, is a case of too many choices she’s not mature enough to make. Who can blame her? She was given a choice, and the choice was clear: keep the toy. Lilah’s mom chases her daughter down and corners her to discuss her “bad choice” and to ask: “Would you like to share the toy with Andrew?” Andrew’s mom has her hands full of Andrew, trying to distract him with another toy. Meanwhile, the mothers exchange panicked looks. Lilah runs to the other side of the room before Andrew can retaliate. well, like kids, some of them became helpless, as though nothing in their personal or professional experience had prepared them to deal with conflict. Another had started her own business, but still woke up early to supply the group with freshly baked mini-cupcakes.Īnd yet when their kids acted like . . . One had a Ph.D., but knew exactly what to do with a basketful of pipe cleaners. ![]() The group was composed primarily of college-educated women who were taking some time off, or working part-time, as I was, while rearing our evenly spaced two or, increasingly, three children. I participated in a local “moms’ group” for a while. And his mom, for her part, was dealing with his behavior by following the script I’d seen modeled at too many mom-and-tot functions. ![]() Was he making some bad choices that day at the library? Clearly. ![]() I’d observed this boy in other situations displaying entirely appropriate behavior, so I knew he was capable of it. Most parents of the preschool set will run into each other at the limited number of kid-friendly hangouts and events. I live in a rural, midwestern college town, a brief buggy ride from Amish country. Evan, do you think this is a good choice? Evan, we need to discuss making better choices. The boy had managed to fill his pockets with wooden blocks before his table ascent, and so had plenty of ammunition to fling at passersby, which he was now doing with some enthusiasm.Īs I steered my kids away from the melee, toward the train tables, I could hear the boy’s mother’s plaintive pleas, the pitch rising slightly with each successive statement: “Evan, this is not a good choice. “No! No! No!” Once I rounded the corner to the children’s area, my two young kids in tow, I could see the little tyrant perched on top of a table, glowering at anyone, child or adult, who dared get near him. Demands not to touch something can be communicated by saying things like "Let's use gentle hands on this" or even "This one is just for looking".I could hear him the moment we entered the library. Limit your request to focus on the action you do want to encourage. Gentle parenting means you choose to set clear boundaries and underline what you are asking of your child.
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